New Year, New Blog

“No epoch is purely good or purely evil. Good and evil are twin threads that run through the history of mankind. And often they intertwine.” –Sophie’s World


Give me also the freedom to usher in 2012 and bid 2011 farewell with the same sentiment.

Personally, I thank God for all the patience He put up this year for me. I know I was stubborn and somehow bits and pieces of that ability is still couch-potatoing in my mind. But I think this is where resolutions come in. Whether it is new year or not, it is inherent in us to resolve to change. If we see so much of evil in the thread, we attempt to change it and look for something good in it. It may take a long time for us to balance the thread; more often than not we stop halfway through and forget these resolutions. However, I think, in a whole, the thread is used in a spinning wheel. It is continuous and going and we still have the ability to pick up again whatever it is we left hanging or we have forgotten.

I was very afraid of the idea of a repetitive mistake before. I remember a high school friend sending a group message which contained a quote saying a problem will keep on coming back unless you’ve cleanly resolved it. For me, it means the ability of a person depends on the number of times problems come back and if the same problems chase you for the nth time, well, let’s just say you might be the problem. Logical, isn’t it? But you see you are not the only factor why problems persist. Conditions may contribute to the plague-like quality of the problem. For example, your insecurities and self-pity continue to haunt you even after you have resolved your issues. The fact that everyone has a boyfriend and you don’t simply obliterates your hard-to-build self-confidence. So you try to get a boyfriend and you break-up and it leads you to a deeper wormhole. Until you learn that maturity requires time and is not to be answered by getting a one-time boyfriend. Okay so I’m sounding like a priestess or some kind of a guidance counselor but the point is, a repetitive problem doesn’t reflect your performance in life. For one, you only have one life and you can never compare your mistakes today to mistakes you had in your former or future life. Nor can you compare it with others because they are different. “And what can life be worth if not the first rehearsal for life is life itself? That is why life is always like a sketch. No, sketch is not quite the word because a sketch is an outline of something, the groundwork for a picture, whereas a sketch that is your life is for nothing, an outline of with no picture.” (Kundera shouting in my head, 1984)
All of this is just to say that I’m all in for the idea of building a resolution. Because even if it is repetitive, even if it is tiring, it is worth the try.

P.S.
Remember the spinning wheel? The seconds between midnight of January 1, 2012 and 11:59 of December 31, 2011 are like intertwined beginnings and endings of a thread and what better way to tie them together than resolutions.

-wellflower

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